Who’s in your driver’s seat of your life?
Dear friends,
Lately I’ve been reflecting on a question that’s come up in my own life and in conversations with clients:
Who’s actually in the driver’s seat of my life right now?
At first, it seems like an easy one to answer: I am, of course. But when I sit with it longer, I notice how often it’s not my most grounded, authentic self holding the wheel.
Or, sometimes, we know that we’re acting out of fear because the world is scary and uncertain (the times continue to be unprecedented). The chaos around us doesn’t inherently take away our power; we can still create alignment within ourselves between our values and how we are showing up in the world.
The inner passengers we all carry
If you’re familiar with Parts work (Internal Family Systems) or Jungian archetypes, you might recognize this:
We each have different parts within us, inner passengers, that try to guide or protect us in their own ways.
Sometimes, it’s not the wise, centered self at the wheel. It might be:
A people-pleasing part, trying to keep everyone happy
A protector part, steering us clear of perceived danger
An inner critic, repeating old messages we learned long ago
A dreamer or rebel, veering us away from what feels too restrictive
None of these parts are bad. They’ve all helped us survive or navigate in the past. But sometimes, they’re using old strategies that no longer serve us.
How do we know when we’re not steering?
For me, the signs are small at first:
Saying “yes” when I really wanted to say “no”
Moving through my days on autopilot, feeling disconnected or dissociating
Feeling a quiet restlessness or resentment that I can’t quite name
That’s when I pause and ask:
Who’s at the wheel right now?
What is this Part trying to protect or achieve?
It’s rarely about pushing that part away. More often, it’s about listening with compassion and gently inviting our highest Self (the curious, calm, connected core of who we are) back into the driver’s seat.
How we can reclaim the wheel
This isn’t about control, it’s about honoring each inner entity’s wisdom and choosing how we want to integrate those voices.
Here are small ways I practice inviting my Self to guide:
Pause and breathe before responding — check in with what’s really true for me
Name the part — “My inner Manager is trying to help me succeed by pushing me to go above and beyond”
Make small intentional choices — where to spend my time, what to say yes to, what brings me closer to alignment
And I deeply believe: we’re not meant to navigate this road alone. Sometimes enlisting a co-pilot to helps us tune into our wisest self.
My invitation to you
I invite you to sit with your inner passengers and get to know them.
What are their names?
Whose voice do they emulate?
What wisdom are they trying to share with you?
Where in your life do you feel most in the driver’s seat?
What areas are you looking to take back the wheel?
If you feel called, I’d love to hear what’s coming up for you.