my why

I’m a coach because i believe in people's ability to change. i believe that deeply because of the change I’ve pursued and found to be true in myself. I hold on to that belief at the same time that I believe in the fundamental necessity to radically accept our reality, from shadow selves to our greatest strengths. In the tension between these two seemingly opposing truths lies a magical opportunity to deepen our intimacy with ourselves.

For me, at the deepest point of lacking love for myself, believing the worst of myself, a small but ferociously hopeful part of me sought out proof that people can change. I found hope in other people’s stories, and validated that hope with science (neuroscience, psychology, anthropology,). Little by little I started proving to myself, too, that I could change. Stories about myself I took as true were now up for debate, and in that sliver of doubt I was able to start healing and letting go of those beliefs. I started proving to myself that I not only deserved deep friendships but could also maintain them across years and time zones. Bullshit money stories I inherited from my family and their family became obviously outdated, but require continual dismantling even years after revealing their influence on me. Deconstructing my foundational assumptions about the world stemming from Christianity revealed all sorts of threads to pull relating to gender, sexuality, privilege, bodily autonomy, and more. Fully acknowledging and dissecting years of disordered eating actually spurred a renewed love of food that has since provided the opportunity for me to create some of my most cherished friendships as well as create a new language with which to express my love.

All of this healing allowed me to finally believe myself about my gender and explore the grey area of being non-binary in a suffocatingly binary world. Years later, I’m still earning my own trust and learning new ways of being.

Ultimately I’ve found that the empowered connection i have with the many intersecting identities I hold and evolve through has broadened my capacity to invite others in, too. Our continual journeys of self-growth also feed our relationships and strengthen our ability to experience fulfillment. The question of purpose becomes more of an internal conversation than an external calling. It is with the tools and role of coaching that I feel drawn to witness the full depth of humanity in others. I get to practice for others what I also need for myself: creating spaces for curious exploration, gentle questioning, compassionate accountability, and the room to deeply feel all the range of my existence without judgement.